AHHH I just had to say :)

I am so happy right now. 

I am happy because I can almost use my two hands to countdown the time until Garrett returns! I cannot be more excited for this deployment to end, because it means we get to start our life together! I get my kisses and my hugs and my care… Mmmm Mmmm yes, to have all that back along with many more things. AMAZING! 

I am just so in love with my husband and he makes me the happiest person in the world! I was so lucky to have that perfect match find me! 

Parenting gone bad...

Currently, I am subbing for an early childhood classroom in Pre-K. I couldn’t be more thankful for the life I was given and have now. I also couldn’t be more proud to be able to offer a good life for a child. 90% of the kids in this classroom are adopted, living with foster families, they are all on welfare, and some of them even have mental disabilities. My first two years of school were for early childhood education. When you further your studies in that field, you learn about the defects children are born with from mommies who don’t take care of themselves. It really bothers me when I can go to work and I know exactly the lifestyle one of my students mommy had. Breaks my heart how people don’t think about their children’s lives and here they are handing this child off from one family to the next...

Photo shoooting :)

Love maternities :)

The dreadful line...

One of the most important things I am learning through this deployment is our fine line between what to and what not to communicate. And by that, I do not mean lie about, I mean what to not make him stress over. It is hard when I am here and I can’t see what is happening there. I don’t know what his work schedule is. I don’t know how many people lied to him today. I don’t know what he had to re-do because the first plan didn’t work. All I can see is what I am going through. And how I don’t have that physical support that I am used to. He isn’t here to help me buy my new car. He isn’t here to help me with my medical issues when he is the best person to take care of me when I am sick! And worst of all, I am not there for him! I told him tonight that I feel upset over a our last conversation, and I wanted to share his “deployed insight” of why he may not be as verbally supportive.  

“im sorry kobie. i know your doing a good job. i have nothing to worry about back home and its all because you are on top of everything. im so proud of you and so amazed by what you do. im not used to having to say it tho. i dont say it at work because we are just asked to do our job. we dont get praised here and im in work mode all the time because thats my main job right now. im sorry that it seems like im ignoring what your doing but im not. i tell my friends all the time how much you do for me and how much you care. your all i talk about over here”

I am so glad the person I have to share my life with, is someone I can talk to and grow with from our conversations rather then let things linger and worsen! Yet again I have realized I was way before crossing that line, and I probably should have told my hubs a while ago before a problem occurred :) Still learnin that line!

Random fact of my day: 

If you are too hydrated, it could give you trouble sleeping! I always have trouble sleeping. Usually I take ambien because I need the push. Today I read that cherry juice contains melatonin. For those who don’t know what melatonin is, it is a hormone that helps you sleep :) A natural way is always a better way because you can train your body by using it’s full potential with no addictions! 

Healthy is important!

I cant even explain how drained I am physically and emotionally from deployment to everything in my life that my car accident effected to my treatment….. BLAH. 

I listened to everyone and looked at the bright side of my disability and took a break to get better! I guess it may have helped my head from the concussions, but I think resting has done all that it can do now. It is ridiculous to live like this, and I am not sure if it has been harder or better for deployment.

Therefore I am done… In attempt to take my route, I have switched to a less sedating medication so I can wake up with less than 12 hours of sleep. I have also decided if I am not subbing, then I am going to use my morning time to work out at the gym and get my body going again! The endorphins will be great for the positivity :)

Wandering around Oceanside.

Thankful :D

I am currently watching “Sleeping With The Enemy”, which is reminding me what I wanted to write about tonight. This last week, I have been around people who are have a series of unfortunate events happening in their lives. It makes me so thankful for my life and how everything is turning out. Everyone has their problems. Mine are definitely manageable! I complain a lot when Garrett is deployed (what wife doesn’t), but I know everything is going to be okay! We might not have 20 thousand dollars in our savings account (which I think is still not enough to save for a kid!), but we will be okay! We both have jobs, we have a very loyal relationship, we are planning a special wedding exactly how we want it to be, everything with my health is only getting better, my treatments are successful!!!, we get to buy my new car with no problems, and we always have a roof/ tent (LOL) over our heads :). 

That being said, I am quite thankful for the life I am living and the opportunities I have! 

And of course the love that puts a smile on my face :) Made it halfway! The rest should be downhill!